Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (2010)

What I expected:

Rick Riordan has written a series of five wonderful and funny young adult books featuring Percy Jackson and the Olympians. The series does not rival Harry Potter in writing craft or sheer wonder, but it is a fun ride and a great way to learn about Greek mythology. My daughter and I have enjoyed these books together and we wanted the movie to be just as wonderful. However, my heart was filled with dread when I learned that Chris Columbus was the director.

What I got:

I pretty much got exactly what I expected, which is a real shame. Chris Columbus should not be allowed near our favorite books. He was in charge of the early Harry Potter movies, and even if the magic was nicely portrayed, the acting was just horrible, especially from the kids. The Lightening Thief suffers from the exact same problem. The art direction is gorgeous, the special effects are what they should be and a fine cast was assembled, but he still manages to make an almost unwatchable mess out of it all, and fall way short of what it could have been.

The story is fairly straight forward, even if they did leave out most of the funny stuff from the books: Percy Jackson is the son of Poseidon but doesn’t know it. He is growing up in NYC with his single mom and her jerk boyfriend (Joe Pantoliano, who cannot be made to suck, even by the likes of Chris Columbus.) On a school fieldtrip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art Percy finds out that he is a demi-god after a fury threatens his life. She is working for Hades (god of the Underworld) and they believe that Percy has stolen Zeus’ lightening bolt, which he has not. His best friend Grover is revealed to be a satyr protecting him and Grover whisks Percy away to camp half-blood and safety. After finding his place at the camp, Percy accepts the quest to go find the lightening bolt and to bring it back to Zeus on Mount Olympus which is now located above the Empire State Building.

The cast is very strong. It features Uma Thurman as Medusa, Pierce Brosnan as Chiron (the trainer of heroes,) Rosario Dawson as Persephone (Hades wife) and the always delightful Catherine Keener as Percy’s mom – just to name a few. Unfortunately, these talented actors are slumming it here. All of them are capable of so much more. It is as if Columbus went with the first take of every scene without any exploration whatsoever. He specializes in the significant stare and it is on full display here. Pierce Brosnan is especially afflicted, and not just because he is literally acting with a horse’s ass.

The young actors playing Percy (Logan Lerman) and his best friends Grover (Brandon T. Jackson) and Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) are all too old to be given the child actor treatment, which is clearly what Columbus did to them. I would venture to say that they as well could do so much more.

If you take your kids like I did, they will probably enjoy themselves, even if you, as a sentient human adult, may have trouble doing the same. Restroom breaks and popcorn runs can be your friend here. Just remember: You are doing it for the kids. You may have to repeat that more than once.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Watchmen (2009)

What I expected:

Let me say off the top, that I have not read the graphic novel, so if I sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s why. As a consequence, I had very few preconceived notions about what to expect. I tend to like movies made from comic books, and noir also tends to suit me. The characters are obviously complex and flawed (always good.) so all in all I was optimistic.

What I got:

Should you have to read the book before you see a movie? Normally, I don’t think so. I recognize that in many cases you get more out of the film if you know the backstories of all the characters before you go in. Harry Potter would be a prime example of where that works well. The Golden Compass is another where the movie cannot possibly capture the richness of the book world.

Conversely, The books of The Chronicles of Narnia might bore you to tears and turn you off to the point that you never make it to see the movies. Disney’s The Lion, The Witch & the Wardrobe is a prime example of a movie that far outshines the book and I would suggest that Lord of the Rings did the same for Tolkien.

That being said, I think a movie should be able to stand on its own. The narrative should reveal enough essential material to the viewer that you get a fully contained experience from the movie itself.

Unfortunately, I did not get that with this movie. I found the plot confusing and the issues unresolved. It didn’t help that the cinematography was dark, grainy and gloomy to the point where I could not tell what was going on.

Frank Miller (Sin City, The Spirit)  does a nice job of the modern noir genre, but unfortunately Zach Snyder who created this one does not. His previous movie was 300, which was also grainy and confusing. I guess you find something you do well, and you stick with it?

Even the CGI work seems oddly off kilter. Dr. Manhatten (Billy Crudup) is the glowing blue guy and I’m sure he is not supposed to seem human, but he just looks fake. I know that is often the case with glowing figures in comic books, but movies can do better than this.

I did enjoy several of the performances in the movie. Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a wonderful job as the creepy degenerate The Comedian. I also enjoyed the mother-daughter superhero interplay between Silk Spectre (Carla Gugino) and Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman.) You just don’t see nearly enough of that. I think the only other time I have seen that idea is in The Incredibles. Malin Akerman also does a nice job of wearing the Spandex! She is a perfect combination of Xena Warrior Princess and Catwoman. Yum.

If you loved the graphic novel and as a result find this movie a worthy extension of that world, more power to you. Personally, I think the material deserved better than what it got from this movie.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

What I expected:

This was not a movie, I had strong feelings about beforehand. It looked charmingly bubbly and light-hearted in the previews and I hoped Amy Adams’ life-loving persona as seen in Enchanted would be on full display. I was concerned about Francis McDormand’s role in it all. I was not interested in having my fun skunked by a dour, Nanny McPhee-like presence. All in all I was hoping for a good time.

What I got:

Pre-war London was a study in contrasts, not unlike depression-era America. Obscene wealth and soup-kitchen poverty were pushed up against each other causing rich and poor to interact constantly. It is against this backdrop that Guinevere Pettigrew (Francis McDormand) is thrown out into the street after having lost her position as governess. She finds her way to a new opportunity at what she thinks is the apartment of Delysia (Amy Adams).

Up until this point the movie is just setting the stage, but now the zany madness and bubbly fun begins, and the movie becomes a fun ride of mis-representations, misunderstandings and scheming, worthy of the light comedy motif I had hoped for.  The rhythm gets broken a bit at times, but the overall effect is pleasant and engaging. Amy Adams could benefit from a few additional facial expressions, but she does have “surprised”, “sad” and “fun-loving” down pat. The three gentlemen that play her love-interests are pleasant, but fairly cardboardy and not very engaging individually or together. Their emotional life seem a little like phoning-it-in. But maybe that is part of the point of it all?

By contrast, Miss Pettigrew and her budding love interest, Joe (Ciarán Hinds) sparkle in the capable hands of these two fine actors. My fears of the dour were largely unfounded. When it does manifest, it makes sense, and does not drag down the overall feel-good effect of the movie. Francis McDormand manages to imbue her character with a believably wide range of emotions and a complexity that allows for her evolution of both motivations and actions. The contrast between her restrained goodness, and the shallow, living-out-loud, but essentially harmless Delysia, becomes all the more poignant as a result. Especially since Amy Adams does doe-eyed so well.

Shirley Henderson (of Moaning Myrtle in Harry Potter fame) puts in a very nice, austere performance as Joe’s fiancé. Her voice will probably never be a favorite of mine, but she uses it combined with a relentless snootiness to give this social climbing character an intriguing mix of cool poise and desperate tragedy.

The feat of this movie is that it pulls off light and bubbly yet manages to tell a solid love story with depth and empathy. Not an easy feat. I had hoped for a mindless romp, and I got that AND so much more. Very gratifying.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.