Alice in Wonderland (2010)

What I expected:

It was hard not to be excited about the prospect of Tim Burton taking on Alice in Wonderland. It is a dark and twisted tale, inspired by a drug trip, that takes place in a world that makes no sense. How perfect for Tim Burton. To add further fuel to my arousal, the early stills were breathtaking, which I posted about previously.

What I got:

When you first meet Alice (Mia Wasikowska,) she is now a grown woman of 20, so already you know not to expect the same story as in the book or in the original animated Disney classic. She shows early signs of being at odds with her Edwardian lifestyle, and when she finds herself on the receiving end of a proposal of marriage in front of hundreds of people, she has no choice but to take a moment to investigate a rabbit in a waistcoat that keeps beckoning her, instead of accepting the offer.

What follows is a wonderous romp through the looking glass, Tim Burton style.

Everyone is older now, and the politics between the queens has deteriorated into open war. My favorite character in the whole movie is the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter.) She is wonderfully preposterous with her huge head and short temper. Anne Hathaway plays the White Queen and she lets out some of her disturbing side, which is  new and very welcome. Johnny Depp is scene-stealing as the Mad Hatter and the voice talents of Stephen Fry and Alan Rickman are put to good use as the Cheshire Cat and the Blue Caterpillar respectively. Crispin Glover is Stayne, the Red Queens knight and right hand man and he does a good job of the role. I am not much of a Crispin Glover fan, but he does well here.

The art direction is the true star of this movie. It is so lush and fully realized that it takes your breath away. Lewis Carroll would be truly pleased to see his characters comport themselves in such a marvelous world. Tim Burton has truly created a masterpiece in Alice in Wonderland. This one is worth seeing on the big screen and a must for the DVD collection as well.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Weather Girl (2009)

What I Expected:

Nothing. I had no pre-conceived notions about this movie whatsoever. The title could make it a comedy, a drama or some combination of both. Since the title suggests it is geared to a female audience, some element of romance could also be expected. It  doesn’t feature actors I knew much about beforehand so I went in naked on this one.

What I got:

Unlike its near-name-sake Weatherman (the over the top comedy starring Will Ferrell) Weather Girl is a more quietly funny and straightforward view into the heartache and professional suicide of a local TV station weather “girl”. Sylvia, played by Tricia O’Kelley (from the TV show The New Adventures of Old Christine.)

This is a modern story, so the characters are not syrupy and their choices are real. When the story begins Sylvia has been sleeping and living with her co-anchor, Dale (Mark Harmon,) who is now cheating on her with their other co-anchor. Sylvia breaks up with him by breaking down and dumping him very publicly on-air. She is now a pariah in the TV-host  market and she ends up staying on her brother Walt’s (Ryan Devlin) couch. While staying there she meets his best friend Byron (Patrick Adams) and they start an uncomplicated affair with benefits while her self esteem is low. Since she can’t get a broadcasting job she is working as a waitress.

The story comes to a head when the TV station offers Sylvia her old job back working with Dale again. Her public dumping of him has become an internet sensation and the viewers demand to get her back. She unceremoniously dumps Byron once she has a chance to return to her career and… no wait, I can’t give it all away.

Weather Girl is a nice date-movie that doesn’t rely on trashing one gender or the other or cheap stereotypes to get its laughs. All the characters get their chance to be up and down, and it is all done with good humor. Though there is some predictability to the storyline, it still seems fairly fresh, exactly because it treats women and men as equals. It is refreshing to see a female lead that destroys her life and then rebuilds it without that becoming a vehicle for grotesque slapstick. One thing that stuck out at me though was that Sylvia’s two female friends seem oddly grafted onto the story – almost as an afterthought – and they don’t really do much for the story or the movie itself.

If I was to classify this movie, I guess it is a romantic comedy, but that label seems oddly insufficient for this one, because it also allows itself to tap into a little of the drama genre. It is a nice choice if you want funny and straightforward. If you want fall-down funny, it won’t quite get you there but it will have both men and women laughing and feeling uplifted.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

What I Expected:

From the previews Law Abiding Citizen promised to kick ass and take names from start to finish with lots of exploding stuff and a really pissed off bad-guy/hero. I liked that about it. Gerard Butler (The Ugly Truth) and Jamie Foxx (Ray) pitted against each other seemed like it could work, and I was in the mood to be entertained with big explosions and lots of carnage. My expectations were pretty high that it would deliver on those fronts.

What I got:

Law Abiding Citizen is indeed very satisfying in the “things-that-go-boom” department. It gives you a happy couple of hours having stuff thrown at you with ever increasing speed and intensity through a kerosene-soaked crescendo and if that was all you got, I think you’d be fine with that. The bonus here is that you also get a reasonably interesting premise that leaves you with very mixed emotions about right and wrong.

Clyde Shelton (Butler) is a family man whose world is turned upside down when two thieves break into his home and brutally rape and murder his wife and kill his daughter. He survives the ordeal and even though the killers are caught, only one of them is convicted of the full crime. The other, and most violent of the two, pleads his sentence down to a near slap on the wrist by cooperating with the prosecutor (Foxx.)

Shelton, rightly so, feels that justice was not served and he wows to exact his own revenge not just on the killers but also on the prosecutors, the judge, and the rest of the system that let him down. Shelton, we come to find out, is an expert in killing remotely, and he uses that set of stills to full effect to dole out his vengeance.

What is ingenious about this construct is that you find yourself rooting for Shelton as he becomes this creepy omnipotent serial killer that is able to kill even after he is behind bars. He is brilliant and you have no real sympathy for the system that so clearly wronged him. As the story unfolds though, you can’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable with what you are willing to cheer for as “right.” The violence does at times seem excessive but it does serve to keep you off balance about where you allegiances lie.

My only real beef with this movie is that the final plot revelation and resolution are too contrived and unlikely. I had by then hoped for something a little more inspired. There was such promise – but alas.

All in all, I had fully expected scorched eyebrows and first-degree burns from Law Abiding Citizen, but I was pleasantly surprised that it gave me something more than that. Expect to enjoy the ride, but do yourself a favor and bring your brain. This one is not quite as mindless as you’d expect.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

The Ugly Truth (2009)

What I Expected:

Pitting the sexes against each other is not really my idea of romance, so when it is billed as romantic comedy, I cringe a bit. On the other hand Katherine Heigl seems to have a good nose for picking decent roles and she is funny, so I was willing to give The Ugly Truth the benefit of the doubt. Gerald Butler on the other hand is best known as the phantom in Phantom of the Opera or King Leonidas in 300 – neither role really a comedy… hmm.

What I got:

Katherine Heigl plays Abby, a hard-driving TV producer who has no idea how to get a man, while Gerald Butler plays Mike – a misogynistic self-help guru for men, who is peddling “the ugly truth” about the sexes. They clash the moment he is hired to work on the morning TV show she produces. When he overhears her talking with a prospective date on the phone, Mike bets her that he can coach her to get the man on the other end into her bed with his insight into the male psyche. Needless to say it works, and many (and sometimes funny) complications arise, especially as he falls for her in the process.

Nothing really new here, except, that The Ugly Truth is a fairly sweet take on the battle of the sexes. Much more so than you might have expected from a modern comedy, especially one about lies and deception. This one falls somewhere between 27 Dresses and Knocked Up, – which were both very enjoyable previous efforts by Ms. Heigl. That Gerald Butler proves to be a comedic talent is certainly a bonus. The chemistry between the two of them is never truly believable, but their “battle” is still fun to watch.

As date-movie themes go, I would caution the guys to tread lightly here. It would be easy to fall into the trap of taking the side of the ugly truth-er, but I suspect you would do so at your peril, if you want the date to end “well.” He is a pig, and even if you secretly agree with some of his techniques, don’t let it on too much.

And ladies, you too should be careful not to express your disgust too loudly, if you want the date to end “well.” Not all men are this much of a pig, but we are still fairly basic creatures, and picking an argument over our worst qualities, really isn’t very romantic. Unless you are into angry, make-up sex, in which case, by all means duke it out after the movie.

The nice thing about The Ugly Truth is that there is something in it for both men and women. It is not really a chick-flick, while certainly not a guy-movie either. It is a reasonably fun comedy that you can enjoy together with plenty of laughs, beautiful people and a good, relationship affirming morale. No really, it is actually not a chick-flick. Trust me guys.

PS: As a designer, I really appreciate the use of the Helvetica toilet people in the poster. Very nice!

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

The Merry Gentleman (2009)

What I Expected:

What to expect of a suicidal hit-man love story? Comedy, drama, or just a mess? Or maybe some of all of that? I wasn’t sure, but I thought it best to keep my expectations in check – even as I wanted to be charmed by the concept. I usually enjoy Michael Keaton and Kelly MacDonald is always excellent, so The Merry Gentleman was poised for me to be taken by it.

What I got:

The Merry Gentleman is quiet, really quiet. It is not a long movie, but had it been any longer I might have started to fidget. Or fall asleep. As it was, I really enjoyed the careful unfolding of the main characters and you even get a light chuckle in here and there though it is largely a drama.

Michael Keaton made his directorial debut with this film and he chose a real actor’s movie to do it. There is virtually no action, but you are never bored exactly because of the power of the characters and the actors playing them.

Keaton plays Frank Logan, who is a suicidal hit-man intent on off-ing himself after finishing his last assignment. The suicide attempt is interrupted when the eternally optimistic Kate Frazier (MacDonald) walks in on it. Her life is not a happy one either, as her husband beats her and she has to fight him off, but together she and Frank find that they have something to offer each other. All the while a dogged, but largely disillusioned cop (Tom Bastounes) is trying to solve the last murder Frank committed. As the three worlds become more and more entwined, we are treated to amazing feats of character development by all three.

I am a big fan of Kelly MacDonald, and she shines again in the role of Kate. She is probably best known to American audiences as the Texas housewife in No Country for Old Men, but if you saw Choke you would have enjoyed her as the doctor in that or if you had the pleasure of seeing the British TV mini-series State of Play, she was the young newspaper journalist in that story as well. Her Scottish accent is endearing and it is on full display in The Merry Gentleman, adding a charming touch to her character.

Michael Keaton is very restrained in his role as Frank Logan, and not at all like his Mr. Mom, Beetlejuice or The Paper roles. It is a joy to see him flex his quiet side and yet be at least as impactful as he is when he does his high-energy acting.

The Merry Gentleman is definitely an actor’s movie and I found it quite charming. Just don’t try to watch it in a comfortable recliner after a big meal. That should guarantee a light snore and very little memory of the movie itself. But even then you can remember this movie fondly.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

I Love You Beth Cooper (2009)

What I expected:

With a quirky title like I Love You Beth Cooper, I had hoped for something to rival Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist: A movie with plenty of laughs, foul language, some gross-outs but ultimately with a moral, if crude life lesson and a fairly happy ending.

What I got:

The first thing to know about I Love You Beth Cooper is that Chris Columbus directed it. Maybe that is all you need to know, but in case his long line of sub-par movies are not enough to deter you, here are some other reasons not to watch:

This movie just isn’t funny. It is clearly meant as a comedy. In fairness you do get a chuckle here and there, but the jokes are not new, the language and siturations not outrageous or crude enough and the juxtaposition of the ultra dork (Denis played by Paul Rust) and the most popular girl in school  (Hayden Pantierre from Heroes) is just not workable. What it is is shamelessly formulaic but without the comfort familiarity could provide.

The premise is that Denis has been in love with Beth Cooper all through high school but has not had the courage to tell her until he declares that love very emphatically as part of his valedictorian address at graduation. She is shocked but intrigued enough to agree to party with him and his dorky friend later. Needless to say she brings her hot, shallow friends along and a hot-tempered, football player boyfriend who does not like the idea and uses Denis’ face and home as punching bags.

Yes, it’s THAT predictable. And no, it does not have enough indie charm to overcome the soulless triteness. Did I mention that Beth is intrigued by Denis’ attention and that it changes her for the better? Oh, sorry. I should have warned you of the spoiler there just now. Or was that not really a spoiler, since you could have seen that coming, too?

Typically, I like to hold out some performance in an otherwise bad movie as the standout that can redeem some small aspect of it all, but in this case I don’t have any. Hayden Pantierre portrays the indulged popular girl with an almost never changing facial expression, and it is hard to tell if she is acting or even really there. Paul Rust is not really an actor, but a writer for a few late, late night shows and even there he was not asked for repeat work. Go figure.

All in all you are much better off stripping wallpaper, sanding floors or pulling weeds than wasting your precious spare time on I Love You Beth Cooper. Thanks again, Chris Columbus for another in a long line sub-par movies. You shouldn’t always stick to your strengths. No really.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Food, Inc. (2009)

What I expected:

It would be foolish to expect a documentary about our food supply to be all kittens and sunshine about what has happened to how we grow, slaughter and bring our food to market. The poster promises that “You will never look at dinner the same way” which seems easy to believe. I expected this exposé of factory farming to be shocking and stomach churning, in the proud tradition of Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation.

What I got:

Food, Inc. draws heavily on the research and activism of author Eric Schlosser, who wrote Fast Food Nation and professor Robert Kenner, who has been a long time critic of the production methods necessary to feed our insatiable desire for perfect, consistent food. Our modern way of producing and delivering food has been necessitated by the packaged food and fast food industries, which have changed the demand for meat, poultry and grains to an uncompromising and relentless demand for completely uniform products. It has resulted in chickens that can’t stand upright because their breasts are too big or cows that can’t support their own weight because they never use their legs.

I am a big proponent of humane treatment of animals and of local, sustainable agriculture. However, I think we, as a nation have to come to terms with the idea that we consume so much meat, fish and poultry, that there is no possible way to meet that need in a humane way. Especially, if we are going to insist that each chicken breast be completely uniform, huge and $1.99 a pound.

If you shop for food on price, you are supporting factory farming. There is no other way to maintain your lifestyle. So, the question is not whether factory food production is gross and warped. Sure it is. But the question really becomes what are you willing to give up to change it. And change it we must. If not for the sake of the animals, then simply because our current way of creating food, also creates all manner of health issues for us as humans.

I would not recommend Food, Inc. right before sitting down for a big steak or a nice tender chicken breast. However, it frankly doesn’t go far enough in depicting the carnage to seriously deter the carnivore within and I predict you will be back to eating the same juicy hamburgers you loved before the movie in no time. Even knowing you could be eating e-coli with every bite.

Food, Inc. does a nice job holding up the looking glass and showing us what a warped world we have created to feed our appetites. We are all implicated in the way things are. And that includes vegans, too. Our soy, grain and corn industries are just as messed up as the meat processors are – just in different ways as you will see in this film.

The movie ends with a strong call to action – of any kind – to start to change our ways. I hope we all do our part, but I’m not overly optimistic. That burger is just too damn tasty.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

The Proposal (2009)

What I expected:

Sandra Bullock is a strong comedic actress and she has starred in some truly funny movies (Miss Congeniality is still one of my favorites) and she has led in some true disasters as well (Miss Congeniality 2 comes to mind). Similarly Ryan Reynolds was very funny in Van Wilder and blew in Adventureland. So what to expect? I went with “turd” hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

What I got:

The Proposal sets up an unlikely if amusing premise. The main characters are Margaret Tate (Bullock) who is a hard charging, self-absorbed book editor, who is universally reviled by her underlings, and her assistant Andrew Paxton (Reynolds). Ms. Tate is Canadian and is threatened with deportation from the U.S. because her visa status was never resolved. In order to stay, she concocts a phony engagement to Paxton, and they have to pretend to like each other to make it work. When they go for Ms. Tate’s immigration interview the ICE agent is not impressed, so to up the ante, she and Paxton build upon the lie and suggest that they will be meeting his family that weekend for his grandma’s birthday.

The family lives in Alaska, and Bullock does a nice job being the city girl fish-out-of-water in the rugged lifestyle of the north. Mary Steenburgen plays Paxton’s mother and is charming and delightful as ever. Betty White is the grandmother, and she hams it up for all she is worth. Greg Nelson is the successful frontiersman businessman father, which he does with appropriate gruffness.

The overall effect is pleasant and amusing. There are a few laugh-out-loud moments and you get to enjoy Bullock and Reynolds flail around nakedly – as naked as is possible with a PG-13 rating – which is good fun.

As romantic comedies go, this is an interesting one. It is not as romantic as some, but it does give both women and men something to enjoy. The male characters are not just extras in the woman’s story, and Paxton is not emasculated in order to be loved.

Reynolds never really makes you believe Paxton’s emotional inner life. His character has to travel furthest, from loathing to love, for Ms. Tate. You never really believe either extreme of that spectrum. Bullock, on the other hand, is in full control of her character. She does a very nice job finding the loving, inner side of her character. She never plays the bitch to the point of no return, making her journey much more likely.

Low expectations helped me enjoy this movie quite a bit. It is cute, funny and charming, if not quite great at any one of those. The Proposal is a nice date movie that will leave both men and women feeling good. But not great.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Zombieland (2009)

What I expected:

I hate zombie movies. Even the “good’ ones. The whole genre is lost on me, but when I saw the previews for Zombieland I was hooked. It promised to be something altogether different, and it looked like a lot of fun. I dared to hope that this time, a zombie movie could actually be worth watching.

What I got:

Zombieland is without a doubt the funniest zombie movie ever made! No question about it. Shaun of the Dead is a tragedy compared to this one. The gross-out will delight you, the absurdity will astound you and in the end it all makes perfect sense. Meanwhile you are laughing non-stop.

Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) is the narrator and his dry, slightly neurotic delivery is the perfect companion to the completely over-the-top gore you are watching on the screen. He plays Columbus (No names. They lead to intimacy) who against all odds has survived while the whole World has been infected with the zombie virus around him. He has done so because he is sompletely neurotic and has lots of rules for how to survive – rules you really come to appreciate as the movie progresses. He is on the move, trying to get back to Columbus, Ohio (big applause here from those of us who live there) where he hopes his family may still be alive.

He quickly hooks up with Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson, who is his polar opposite. Tallahassee is brash, loud and loves a good ass-kickin’. Together they make a very unlikely pair. Along the way they get conned by a couple of other survivors, Wichita (Emma Stone from Superbad) and her 12-year old sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin of Little Miss Sunshine fame). The four form an uneasy alliance and together they kick so much zombie ass, you almost can’t believe a body count could get this high.

It is also hard to believe that so much blood, mucus and all other manner of bodily fluids could be splattered so far and wide – and in such quantity. Oh you have seen gross-outs before but this movie takes the squish to whole new heights and depths.. Similarly, if something can be broken and scattered in a million pieces it definitely will be. Untold legion of possessions are destroyed by this quartet – mostly for no reason other than that they can. And you cheer them on every step of the way.

This is clearly Woody Harrelson’s movie, and he is truly superb. His brand of humor is on full display and it really works here. Eisenberg is similarly funny and strong as the “Straight” man to his antics. Abigail Breslin gets a chance to play a “bad girl”, in what is her breakout role and Emma Stone is the perfect, smoky voiced love interest. Personally, I would have chosen a different outfit for driving across country while fighting zombies, but it does make her easy on the eyes. Bill Murray makes a wonderful appearance as well, once again showcasing his comedic genius.

I’m not suggesting this movie is for everyone, but it sure won this zombie-movie-hater over. Zombieland is not just the funniest zombie movie ever, it is also the funniest movie I have seen all year – and we’ve had some funny ones already.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.

Sex Drive (2008)

My big fear about Sex Drive was that the whole movie would be as stupid as the construct of the Amish mechanic (Seth Green) could portend. Fortunately, he has maybe a total of five minutes of screen-time and does not manage to detract from an otherwise cute, funny, and delightfully raunchy movie. Amanda Crew, Josh Zuckerman and Clark Duke are charming as the three friends that set out on a road trip from Chicago to Knoxville, TN in an older brother’s (James Marsden) muscle car. The trip offers an amusing array of gross-outs and attempted sexcapades – nothing you haven’t seen before, but funny all the same. Rhodes scholarships were not squandered on creating this film and no Oscars will be forthcoming, but it is solidly entertaining and quite funny.

Niels Hansen is the co-owner of Hansen Creative Services, a graphic design firm near Columbus, Ohio which specializes in employee communications and small business marketing.